The Fourth Wheel, Issue 15

Do you know your El Primero from your Arceau?

Hello watch fans! It’s Friday, it’s Fourth Wheel time and we are still right in the middle of the long hot summer. Stocks of horological news are low; the market for analysis and opinion is high. New watch launches haven’t completely dried up - the BWD/RUF/TAG Heuer/HighSnob quad-collab dominated Instagram this week - but most brands are girding their loins for Geneva Watch Days at the end of the month. So I decided to go big on the crazy world of watch names, with your usual smattering of links below. Enjoy!

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Last week’s diatribe on the Speake-Marin Ripples seemed to go down pretty well, and prompted a couple of discussions on what makes a good watch name. Several years ago at QP I commissioned this poster-sized graphic from the talented and ever-patient illustrator Josh Mowll, and I dug it out to sift through various names. (Sadly it’s no longer on the Esquire website with other old QP stories).

Almost immediately, you realise that it’s hard to avoid a little bit of confirmation bias: if a watch is well-liked, you’re more inclined to think it has a good name. We accept that ‘Royal Oak’ is a perfectly good name for a watch because it’s the name given to a phenomenally successful design but stripped of that context it’s fairly odd. If Genta’s design didn’t exist and a start-up brand launched a watch called the Royal Oak now, I think the reaction would be… confused. What does it mean?¹ Is it a reference to trees? Pubs? Ships? If you’re not down with your 17th century British history it’s just three syllables that roll quite nicely off the tongue - which is no bad thing, but still.

What’s good about it is that it stands out (like the design). There are, to my knowledge, no other watch models that share their names with trees. There are a zillion watches that use ‘aqua’, ‘-master’, ‘-man’, ‘super’, and ‘chrono-’ in their names: the best ones are usually the ones that got there first. After a while it can feel like you’ve spun a fruit machine of suitably macho, technical terms.

A surprising number of names fail the easily-pronounceable test, which you’d think would be pretty fundamental: the Hermes Arceau² is probably the worst culprit here. Noting, by the way, that Laurent Ferrier has dropped ‘Galet’ in favour of ‘Classic’. Smart move. ³

Plenty of brands dodge the problem altogether, opting for alphanumeric codes or reference numbers. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t, although that might say more about the brand in other ways. Collectors can rattle off their favourite Patek Philippe reference numbers at the drop of a hat: Breguet, not so much. Simple alphanumeric names work for the likes of Bell & Ross or Richard Mille, leaning into the sort of technical image the brands want to project, but long-winded reference numbers that don’t flow easily off the tongue are the main reason I can never work out which Grand Seiko I want. It’s hard to yearn after something you can’t put a name to.

Anyway, I thought I’d list a few of my favourite names, just for the fun of it. What have I missed? Am I hopelessly wrong?

Ventura (Hamilton)
This isn’t really a word at all, and that’s normally a turn-off for me. I don’t like the almost identical Venturer (H. Moser) because it’s not immediately clear where the emphasis should fall (I’m a big fan of Pioneer, while we’re on the subject of Moser names). But Ventura, I like. I like its 1950s optimism; it sounds purposeful, thanks to the closeness to ‘(ad)venture’. Its origins are a bit of a mystery: designer Richard Arbib⁴ was known for his ‘V-line’ car designs, but nowhere does it say that he actually named the Ventura. It’s also a city in California, apparently.

Seafire (Speake-Marin)
I’m not crazy about the watch, but ‘Seafire’ has a good ring to it. See, Speake-Marin, you can do good names.

Orion (Nomos Glashutte)
I’m biased because I own one, but I do like Orion. It means very little, and certainly doesn’t conjure up images of a slender, mid-century time-only watch. It’s funny that Nomos, which has the most down-the-line product line-up of all the German watch brands, is the one with the more poetic names, when Lange and Junghans and Glashutte Original are for the most part extremely ‘say-what-you-see’. The less said about Moritz Grossmann’s ancient Egyptian deities the better.

Reverso (Jaeger-LeCoultre)
Ok, this is about as literal as a name gets, but my list, my rules. I sort of wish it had reached the 1950s and become the ‘Reverso-matic’ because I think that sounds ace, but I’m probably in a minority here. I’m a big fan of Polaris and Memovox too - I wish 1990s-era Jaeger-LeCoultre could have summoned a bit more pizzazz when it brought out the Master Control.

Tiger (Squale)
It doesn’t make sense. The Tiger is a dive watch, and not one I particularly love - although it is certainly quirky. Tiger Shark would make a lot more sense. But no, they went with Tiger. And I have to say, part of me would like to own a watch called Tiger. Just not this watch.

Chronoscope (Junghans)
I think ‘-scope’ is underused, given its ancient Greek derivation as ‘an instrument for seeing’, as opposed to ‘-graph’, ‘to write or record’.⁵ Who remembers the nonsensical sounding Terrascope and Aeroscope from JeanRichard? Measure the earth! Measure the air! Measure your watch’s rapid depreciation!

Galactic (Breitling)
On the whole, I think Breitling gives great names. Maybe the best across the board. Things got a bit muddled with the introduction of the Aviator-8 and Super AVI ranges, and back in the day I think Montbrillant was a bit of a misstep, as names go, but in general they’re all killer. Who doesn’t want something called a Transocean Unitime in their life? Or, for that matter, a watch so all-consumingly important it’s called the Galactic?

Milgauss (Rolex)
Couldn’t go the whole list without mentioning Rolex names. Cosmograph is fun too, but always the bridesmaid as far as the Daytona is concerned. I love the new-age-of-technology vibe from the portmanteau of ‘mille gauss’, and that in squashing them together it got anglicised at the same time. Love a Turn-O-Graph too. Most of the rest of Rolex’s names are serviceable, sturdy numbers, which makes me enjoy Milgauss more: like parents who give most of their children names like Henry or Emma or Thomas but every now and then call one Methuselah just to make sure everyone’s paying attention.

Ocean Star (Mido)
Love the name, and in its 1961 Decompression Timer form, I love the watch - especially as it’s almost completely under the radar in the UK. Ocean Star is the kind of name I’d want to give my yacht, so imagine my delight to find that it is in fact the name of a beautiful sailboat (and not some godawful oligarch vessel).

Jazzmaster (Hamilton)
I love this in spite of everything. In spite of the fact it isn’t even the most famous product with this name. In spite of the fact it has nothing to do with the watch’s design or function. In spite of the fact that jazz doesn’t make me think of precision timekeeping. In spite of the fact that the watches are a complete mixed bag, none of them remotely exciting. It’s just a great fun name. Maybe it’s because it undercuts the solemn, dutiful nature of all the other ‘-master’ watches. I imagine them getting together, masters of the sea, of speed, of rail and of time itself⁶, and being faintly ashamed of their kooky cousin, the master of jazz⁷.

Carrera (TAG Heuer)
Call me predictable, I don’t care. TAG Heuer is right up there with Breitling and Omega in my book (a little too reliant on place names to get top spot) for evocative names. Carrera - a great watch and a great name. I think it could sell just about anything.

I’ll stop there. Honourable mention to Doxa for giving each dial colour its own name (I think Sharkhunter and Searambler are great, but Whitepearl?). Another honourable mention to Schofield - I think all of Giles’s model names are great, especially Daymark and Telemark. Ok I’m really stopping now.

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Quick Links

1. Vapor Waitlist, at Horolonomics.
   
   “The Bloomberg story named a specific watch design that supposedly has a wait list: the Chronomaster Sport. Personally, I love this watch and I do believe it sold well for Zenith. But I simply do not believe that it has a wait list and I'd like to explain why.”
   
   I came across the Horolonomics blog this week, via Time and Tide. It’s worth checking out - as the name suggests, it’s mostly about taking an economist’s view of the industry. This particular post is a dissection of the idea that Zenith’s Chronomaster Sport has become a waiting-list watch to rival Rolexes and Pateks, as reported by Bloomberg. Zenith CEO Julien Tornare has made the claim that the Chronomaster Sport has become a waiting-list watch to my face (ok, to my ear) and while I don’t presume every CEO is George Washington, I don’t think he was trying to mislead. He spoke to me in January this year for an article published in QP Turkey - so I can’t blame anyone for completely missing the ‘scoop’ until he repeated the claim more recently for more mainstream outlets, but his quote, in English, was:
   
   “there is now between a four to six month waiting time, depending on the market. It's a great feeling to have something so in demand but I'm not a huge fan of these huge waiting times - I don't really do it on purpose. Last year, we basically doubled the initial production run, and we still met just one third of the demand.”
   
   Four days before Bloomberg’s story, the NYT ran a long piece by Robin Swithinbank that also included the claim, again in direct quotes from Tornare. Brendan at Horolonomics has been able to add the watch to his basket online; I just checked and I could do the exact same at Watches of Switzerland in the UK. Brendan makes the potential excuse that brands aren’t always aware of retailers’ sell-through to clients, but speaking as someone who works for a retailer: they usually are. I don’t think this necessarily means Tornare was deliberately misleading: the situation might have changed between the interview and publication, but it is intriguing. Something I’d have thought the NYT’s editors might have checked.
   

2. Inside Omega’s Very Special Atelier d’Excellence, at Monochrome
   
   Monochrome editor Frank Geelen presents a short film inside Omega’s Atelier d’Excellence, the workshop where top-end pieces like its tourbillons and pocket watches are made. It’s not the last word in filmmaking, but I do find it interesting to shine a light on this side of Omega’s output: this is an area that Rolex, for example, has no stake in whatsoever.
   

3. MoonSwatch: Has The Frenzy Changed The Future? at the New York Times (paywall)
   
   “The police were pushing everyone back and the crowds were surging on this little front door,” he continued. “A man appeared and asked me if I was No. 1 in the queue. He said: ‘You’re not, you’re No. 7 because me and my friends are Nos. 1 to 6.” The man then pulled a knife and told him to leave.”
   
   I know, we’re still talking about the MoonSwatch. It does slightly feel like we’re all falling over ourselves to have the last word, but Robin brings new personal colour, a bit more data and insight. We are, surely, reaching peak MoonSwatch - leaving the only obvious question: what’s next? In this piece, Omega stamps on the idea of another bioceramic icon breaking cover. Personally I’ll be surprised if there’s anything new until at least next March.
   

4. Time To Shine: A Cultural History Of Diamond Watches, at Mr Porter
   
   “One of the most outlandish creations, a watch that epitomises the culture, is a Rolex that Arabo worked on for Slick Rick, the English-American 1980s rapper and producer who was introduced to Arabo through Def Jam, the record label to which he was signed at the time. This watch is unrecognisable as a modest Rolex Day-Date given that the dial is surrounded by no fewer than five concentric circular plates, fully studded with diamonds, each added one at a time to create a watch that’s the size of a drinks coaster.”
   
   One of my favourite things as an editor is to bring a feature into being that genuinely covers new ground in watches, a field where it can feel like everything to be say has been said already a hundred times. Despite the popularity of gem-set watches, no-one has really devoted serious space online (or to my knowledge, in print) to placing this style in its proper cultural context. Until now. Laura McCreddie-Doak left no stone (!) unturned in pursuit of this piece; it’s a side of watchmaking that has either been ignored or superficially treated, but I felt deserved a more studied inspection. Hopefully you’ll agree it was worth it.

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And finally…

I mentioned it already but the watch to know about this week was the Bamford Watch Department x HighSnobiety x RUF x TAG Heuer Carrera. It’s pretty cool but my main response is: have we reached peak collab? Is there scope for a five-way? A SIX-sided collab? Will the universe collapse in upon itself? Only one way to find out…

I follow CelebWatchSpotter on Instagram in the hope that one day it’ll be “Tom Baker wearing an Omega Geneve Dynamic” rather than the endless stream of Nautilus, Aquanaut and Rolex wait-list fodder on the wrists of dead-eyed moneybags (John Terry looking sour-faced on a private jet was a recent fave). So far, no such luck. But I did have to giggle at Harry Kane blindfolded, addressing a piñata while wearing a fuck-off stunning Patek, and Bryan Cranston and Jesse Paul in this peach of a pose. A welcome drop of farce among the tanned, soulless, shameless pap shots.

Last of all, this should mark a low point for watch collecting, and watch auctions. As I said to Justin Hast, who made his own distaste very clear: at what point do you think “I’ve got eight Hulks… I need three more?”

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1. The other popular watch with a fairly weird name, for me, is the Hublot Big Bang. I get it, and I think it conveys the general mood of the collection pretty well, but it is a bit odd. Not as odd, however, as the less successful ‘Spirit of Big Bang’. So… this watch is the Big Bang, but this other watch is the one that embodies the… spirit… of this watch?

2. If it wasn’t Hermes, the fact that in English this can easily sound quite rude would probably be more damaging to their brand. As it is, you just have to go with it. Arceau L’Heure de la Lune is a bit of a tongue-twister if you never did French at school though.

3. I remain baffled by ‘Norqain’. More of a scrabble rack than a word.

4. Am I the only one who now reads this as Airbnb? Every time!

5. On a similar note, points must be deducted for the tautological ‘Chronotimer’ from Porsche Design. A time-timing timepiece!

6. Chronomaster. I don’t think anyone’s been dull enough to call a watch the TimeMaster. Yet.

7. They don’t even invite the Pearlmaster.