The Fourth Wheel, Issue 48
Bring back the man in the Moon!
Hello and welcome back to The Fourth Wheel, the weekly watch newsletter that this week is taking a break from in-depth analysis to indulge in a flight of fancy. When I started The Fourth Wheel I always wanted to be silly and serious in equal measure; lately the balance might have slipped a little - although with Watches and Wonders to talk about, I think that’s forgivable. Consider this a nudge back in the other direction.
Before we get to the good stuff, let me remind you that as of next week, The Fourth Wheel paywall will be switched on, and to continue enjoying it every single Friday, you’ll need to take out a subscription. I am so grateful and thankful to all of you who have already pledged to do so; if you’ve been meaning to, you can still pledge this week, or you can just wait until next Friday to sign up.
I set out in Issue 43, below, the full reasons why I’m doing this. I have high hopes for this humble substack, and this is just one step on the path to creating something bigger and better that remains firmly independent.
The first newsletter of each month will remain free, so Issue 50 will be available to all. Speaking of which…
Coming soon - Ask Me Anything returns
Relative newcomers may not know that every ten issues I open up the floor to your questions. Want to know what I think about something? Want to know why I’ve said something in a recent issue? Want to question my life choices? Now’s your time. You can reply to this email, message me on Instagram or - my preferred option - add your question to this thread (which also gives you a chance to see whether it’s been asked before). Previous AMAs can be found here, here, here and here.
I’d like to thank Tony Traina and Justin Hast for giving me this idea, with their recent coverage of 1990s Blancpain. They should not be held responsible for the silliness that follows.
We hear a lot about the romance and whimsy of the moon phase complication. Everyone knows we don’t really need it (although as per my story at Mr Porter the other week, we have worked out it is perfect for astronauts) and it’s standard behaviour among journalists to talk about how charming and quirky a moon phase is. Well, in that case, why have watchmakers been on such a mission in the last decade or so to make moonphases so scientific and orderly? Whether it’s Andreas Strehler with his mastery of prime numbers, or Omega with its laser-ablated, photo-realistic pictures of the moon, I humbly submit that something has been lost. We know what the moon actually looks like and where it’ll be in a few years’ time1. A watch dial is no place for such po-faced literalism. Spherical displays, a la Ulysse Nardin, are mildly interesting, but still awfully straight-laced2. And don’t get me started on those featureless gold discs. There have been a number of interesting things done with the moon phase complication recently: Arnold & Son’s absolutely enormous moon, Hermes’ double-moon Arceau L’Heure de la Lune, and the idea of a meteorite moon is quite fun even if the only connection is ‘they both exist in space’. But...
I think you know where I’m going with this. If a moon phase is meant to give a watch personality, let’s make sure that personality has a face. That’s right: I am hereby starting the campaign to Bring Back The Man (Or Woman) In The Moon. From my comprehensive research3 the watch industry by and large abandoned the anthropomorphic moon in the 1960s, its heyday really coming with triple calendar watches of the 1940s, 50s and early 60s. The only brand that has stuck faithfully by it to this day is Blancpain4, plus a couple of references at Girard-Perregaux (and of course Stepan Sarpaneva has built a brand around a very distinctive moon motif, but in a very different way). The more I looked at vintage moon phases, the more I found a variety that I had hitherto never noticed.
In that spirit, I have assembled 13 examples of moons with real personality…
Blancpain
Kind of smug, isn’t he? He looks across at the star next to him as if to say ‘oh, huh, doing it like that, are you? Ok, go ahead, we’ll see who knows best.’ And when it’s long past being awkward, this moon just keeps staring at your shit. Eyes front, Blancpain moon!
Breguet
This moon is imperious, yet compassionate. It is a wise moon. He - or maybe she - is a moon that has got your back, and will forgive you when you show up late, drunk and without a gift. Sends long Whatsapps.
Breitling
This is the kind of moon who grabs you by the arms when you’re looking out over a drop and yells ‘saved your life!’. He puts flour in water balloons. He dropped a shot of tequila in your pint at the bar and didn’t say anything. This moon is a jackass.
Breitling
This moon is his long-suffering father.
Doxa
Holy shit, this moon has seen some things. He can’t sleep, and he hears noises, and one time a car backfired and he jumped straight through a second-storey window into a hedge. This moon needs help.
Fortis
Dude, sometimes the moon just needs to chill, okay? If you’re passing the shop, can you pick up some milk, and maybe a king size bag of potato chips? Thanks dude.
Girard-Perregaux
She might be making eyes at you, but at the same time she’s looking at a point eight inches behind your head. She tilts her head to one side, puts her hand on yours and tells you that you have a good soul. Did you know that in a past life, you were a dolphin? You were, 100%. She can see it in your eyes.
Jaeger-LeCoultre
This moon may be blind but he knows if you’re going to try and screw him around. But you’re not going to do that. Look at the number of stars around him - this is a popular old moon.
Record
Keeps the door on the chain and doesn’t answer the phone after six. Wishes he wasn’t a great big moon, with people always wanting to see what he’s up to. Keeps fish.
Rolex
WHO THE F*&K ARE YOU CALLING A MOON!? HEY! HEY!? COME BACK HERE YOU F$%K*NG MORON, I’LL SHOW YOU A F*`KING MOON - YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?! THIS F***ING COUNTRY, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Sarpaneva
Wears three-piece suits and carries a cane. Has a booming laugh. Lives on an island with a small army of devoted followers; likes swivelling round in enormous chairs, activating trapdoors with hidden levers and holding world leaders to ransom.
Universal Geneve
Drives a Prius, teaches drama to teenagers and collects native Tibetan art. Looks after her racist aunt on Thursdays, hoping to go travelling with the inheritance.
Ulysse Nardin
Plays the trumpet, has a twin brother, surprisingly high-pitched voice. Loves a hotel buffet breakfast. Works in HR for a small chain of dental surgeries, goes to Comic-Con, writes fan-fiction, but dreams of touring Europe in a jazz band.
Vacheron Constantin
Subscribes to the Economist. Is actually an economist. Writes letters to the Economist. Vegan. Divorced. Wears purple shirts and gives TedX talks with titles like “A moral blueprint for net-zero capitalism”. Spent lockdown learning to paint.
Quick Links
Morteau, Home Of Watchmaking’s New Wave, at Europastar
“A typical day can include classes in art, philosophy and history alongside 3D modelling and movement construction.”
Europastar has dedicated an entire issue to profiling up and coming watchmaking talent. I latched onto this story, about a specialist school/college in France, which seems to be a real hothouse for horological talent, but there are several other articles worth a look, which you’ll find linked from this one. And if you’re so inclined, you can read the whole magazine as a page-turner here.The Very First Heuer Carrera With Car And Driver Double-Signed Dial, at Hodinkee
Heuer nuts and those fonder of what Hodinkee used to be than what it is now (to be fair, that Venn diagram is a circle) will enjoy a good old fashioned bit of ‘who knew this existed’. A nice window into an era when if you were in the right place at the right time, Jack Heuer might just make you a custom watch.A Week On The Wrist The Bulgari Octo Finissimo In Yellow Gold, at Hodinkee
Meanwhile, those of you who enjoy what Hodinkee has become - i.e. a broader church - should enjoy this love letter to the yellow gold Octo Finissimo. Nothing makes journalists and editors more envious than seeing their peers produce expensive content, and I have to give credit where it’s due: by adding videos of this calibre to A Week On The Wrist, the big H is staying one step ahead of the competition.We Are Past Peak Insanity, But A Long Way From Sane, at WatchPro
There is something of the ‘well, duh’ about Rob Corder’s observation that big-name hype watches are still selling for considerably more than discreet, heavy-hitting horology. But there is another point to consider; for a long time, the secondary market has been more or less aligned with connoisseur’s tastes (i.e. sports Rolex, Royal Oaks etc). But if discerning tastes are turning towards Tanks and Vacherons, how long before the market catches up? (If it ever does.) One thing’s for sure, there won’t be anything sane about it; just a different flavour of crazy.Hands On: Rolex Perpetual 1908, at SJX
Now that the dust has settled, a calm and cool-headed review of the Rolex 1908 - maybe the most significant Rolex of W&W - in which SJX namechecks the Vacheron Constantin FiftySix and JLC Master Ultra-Thin as direct rivals. He also returns to earlier analysis suggesting Rolex is expanding into higher price brackets. As if those two didn’t have enough to worry about with AP and Patek, now the world’s biggest brand wants a piece of their market too. Could be… interesting.Can’t Buy the Watch You Want? It’s Partly a Lack of Watchmakers, at the NYT (Paywall)
A really thorough piece on the shortage of watchmakers both in Switzerland and elsewhere. Not sure I’ve ever seen so many CEOs give such unanimous and unvarnished responses to a single story. Watchmaking schools around the world each train up dozens of students a year, but “by 2026, an estimated 4,000 new watchmakers will be needed in Switzerland alone just to cover the increased demand for workers and the loss of retirees”. Oh.Insight: The Ingenuity of the F.P. Journe Centigraphe, at SJX and In-Depth: The Grönefeld 1941 Grönograaf, The First of Its Kind From the Dutch Brothers, at Monochrome Watches.
I’ve bundled these together to stop the list getting too long, but if you are in the mood for a technical, detailed dive into high-end indie chronograph watchmaking, you are in luck. I think the Centigraphe would be my pick of F.P. Journe pieces, if I could have any.Audemars Piguet's Historic Production - 1892 to today, at Goldammer Vintage Watches
Some sweet, sweet data analysis to finish. You may have heard a lot of similar anecdotes about the rarity of AP watches from the first fifty years or so, but a couple of nice stats sprung out at me from this: in 1932 AP made just two watches, total; and according to Marcus’s maths, there might be just about fewer APs in existence than Rolexes made in a single year.
And Finally…
H. Moser wins press release of the week for this paragraph, describing the new ‘salmon-dial’ Streamliner.
To those who say it does not look like salmon, Edouard Meylan, CEO of H. Moser & Cie. and seasoned fly fisher, says: "There is salmon and there is salmon. Our inspiration does not come from the traditional Atlantic salmon, or "Salmo salar" to give it its Latin name, but from its very rare cousin, the "Oncorhynchus kisutch". Allowed to mature in total freedom and massaged each day by specialists using an oil infused with aromatic herbs picked from the slopes of the Himalayas, this species only eats crustaceans that have been pre-digested by pink flamingos. Each individual fish is smoked using a secret recipe made using Scottish whisky. This is what gives the flesh this exceptional colour, and is the inspiration behind our new dial."
I had colleagues at Mr Porter asking if it was a joke, which was hard to answer. Sort of? Bits of it are, but the watch is serious? I think if you want to troll the industry - someone on IG was saying it worked as a dig at Grand Seiko in particular - then fine, but this is a bit ‘have your cake salmon and eat it’ from Moser.
The Czapek that’s just been announced by Collective Horology is awesome, and evidence that the bar for limited editions just gets higher and higher. If you can’t stretch to it, Mr Jones Watches is now making a mechanical version of this piece…
Konstantin Chaykin is now selling merch. With a really weird stock-image-library family photography. What next? MB&F pyjamas? Francois-Paul Journe approved chinos?
Last but not least, I learned something new from a watch this week. Specifically the Unimatic U2S-T-MP, which has a caseback engraving explaining the milliradians system of measuring distance/size using just your hand. I’ve been walking around squinting at one raised finger for a couple of days now…
Thanks for reading! See you next week
Chris
I mean, I sincerely hope it’ll still be up there orbiting the Earth
Put a face on one of these, though, and you have my attention
Trawling through Chrono24 and Phillips sale listings, mostly.
You can draw your own inferences about Blancpain and its hawk-like following of horological fashions.